The Decision-Making Machine
3.57am
It's getting more common, me waking up in the middle of the night and not able to get back to sleep.
I am no Tim Cook: I don't get up at 4am to answer emails. Firstly, I don't have a team of personal assistants to bring me interesting emails that I need to respond. Secondly, I don't get any interesting emails in the first place.
So, when I do wake up at 4am, I have a decision to make. I can continue lying in my bed, with my eyes closed, and try to get back to sleep. 'Try' is the keyword here. I don't often succeed. Or I can give up, get up, and continue my streaks in my iPhone games. The upcoming day will be affected by my decision here, at 4am. My energy. My mood. My mind. Make future you happier, I think to myself, as I decides.
4.13am
So, I am still awake. There will be future doom and gloom, my brain reminds me, and you need to worry about them. Even though you have no idea where this doom and gloom is coming from yet.
Unknown unknowns.
Okay, time to bring out my nighttime podcasts. I put on my earphones, and press play.
I have configured my nighttime podcast player -- which is iCatcher, if you are interested -- to always play with the sleep timer turned on when the hours are between 10pm and 7am. I have a random list of podcasts in this player -- which I will not tell, even if you are interested -- that are interesting enough for my mind not to wander, but not that interesting enough for my brain to wake up. No BBC Global News Podcasts and its long list of bad news every episode, in other words.
Hopefully I will be able to shut up my brain and fall asleep before the sleep timer expires.
4.49am
I wake up again. It is still dark outside.
I hope my earphones are still in my ears, and I didn't drop it somewhere on my bed. It's not fun hunting for a dropped earphone in the dark.
Next: press play, and another cycle of sleep timer.
5.19am
Okay, I give up, and will now get up, get dressed, and eat a slice of bread for breakfast. More importantly, and more enjoyable for my brain, my first cup of coffee for the day.
I like coffee.
7.40am
Time for my morning walk. Other people touch grass; I, on the other hand, want sunlight to touch me instead. No, I don't have to make any decisions on the route to take. I don't mind repetition, and I like that I cover the same distance everytime I go for my morning walk.
But I do have another decision here: do I want to continue to listen to my current audiobook, or continue to go through my podcast queue? Libby verus Castro. Depending on how awake my brain is, I may opt to go for the more difficult listen (perhaps I am in the middle of a book about String Theory for non-scientists, or perhaps the current podcast episode is about all the bad news around the world), or the more relaxing podcast where two people talk to each other about multitasking in iPhone Duo.
10.21am
Do I stick to my plan of only having two cups of coffee -- one for breakfast, and one for lunch later -- or add a third cup at this time? If I wake up earlier than planned, my will power will likely to be weak, and I will cave.
12.15pm
Ah, lunch. Yummy.
And coffee. Yummy too.
1.20pm
I haven't taken an afternoon for a long time. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I've had an afternoon nap. But whatever I decided on lunch, and whenever I decided ot give up and wake up this morning, those decision is now weighing down on me.
Be strong, my brain tells my body. You have things to do. Stop pacing around and sit down and do it.
4.25pm
Be strong.
9.15pm
The decision here: should I try to stay up later, or give in and go to bed and most likely risk waking up at 3 or 4 am again?
I am sleepy. So sleepy. Is it even true that if I force myself to stay up a bit longer that the probability of me waking up in the middle of the night again will be smaller?
Most of the time, this decision will not be made by my brain, but by my body. I just hope that I don't drop my iPhone onto my face when I fall asleep. That is not fun.
~
Yes, my fate for the day is determined by that one decision I made in the middle of the night at 3.57am. It may look like I make many decisions throughout the day, but it is quite likely that I don't have much of a free will by then after I decided when to give up sleeping in the middle of the night.